She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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