For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
