So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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