There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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