ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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