yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
