Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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