If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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