i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
