Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
