I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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