dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
