It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize