Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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