spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
