dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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