At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
