you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize