first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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