Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Bring me that man meat
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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