yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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