he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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