He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
