Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
send nudes
from the living room?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
