Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
