your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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