I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
