Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
