I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
