ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
