Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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