Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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  (269): I'm on that like soy sauce on rice http://tfl.nu/53vn
  Replies (3) Good night (1333) Bad night (575)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

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  (305): absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me. http://tfl.nu/yste
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (3825)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.

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  (313): Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you. http://tfl.nu/ll2r
  Replies (39) Good night (830) Bad night (3603)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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  (703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin
  Replies (73) Good night (4379) Bad night (6454)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.

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  (+32): We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers. http://tfl.nu/61q6
  Replies (13) Good night (6585) Bad night (1004)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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  (610): all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck http://tfl.nu/mnqh
  Replies (49) Good night (1293) Bad night (7324)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?

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  (520): Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right? http://tfl.nu/vsia
  Replies (5) Good night (2039) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck

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  (610): getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck http://tfl.nu/662u
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (2469)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn

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  (401): The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn http://tfl.nu/nlq4
  Replies (5) Good night (2585) Bad night (1185)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride

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  (702): Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride http://tfl.nu/xs6r
  Replies (9) Good night (3709) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

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  (613): I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.." http://tfl.nu/n3mo
  Replies (4) Good night (3240) Bad night (877)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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  (406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35
  Replies (10) Good night (1478) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?

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  (586): Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking? http://tfl.nu/6uzh
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

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  (317): Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success http://tfl.nu/u4l1
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE

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  (+49): Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in? (913): DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE http://tfl.nu/84k7
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (257)

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