haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.