So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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