he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dick very happy bro