just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
That's how pantless uber rides happen