Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

tod's in jail

(863): View more from Florida

he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.

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(407): tod's in jail (863): he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am. http://tfl.nu/355g

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(949): View more from California

okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?

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(949): okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong? http://tfl.nu/d7ju

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(702): View more from Nevada

we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

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(702): we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast. (1-702): do you want me to pick up budweiser instead? http://tfl.nu/46t6

Replies (24) Good night (5217) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.

(303): View more from Colorado

Some perfection is debatable.

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(720): Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday. (303): Some perfection is debatable. http://tfl.nu/oliz

Replies (32) Good night (4035) Bad night (563)
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(970): View more from Colorado

If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it

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(970): If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it http://tfl.nu/jxp6

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo

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(717): i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo http://tfl.nu/9iyh

Replies (5) Good night (701) Bad night (3062) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.

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(407): official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer. http://tfl.nu/fxe4

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(347): View more from New York

I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning

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(347): I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning http://tfl.nu/a79g

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(703): View more from Virginia

The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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(703): The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe. http://tfl.nu/6izf

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(619): View more from California

Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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(619): Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem http://tfl.nu/oy3i

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(315): View more from New York

Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench

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(315): Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench http://tfl.nu/9nh4

Replies (20) Good night (5455) Bad night (1157)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.

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(651): Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/f80s

Replies (12) Good night (973) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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(841): View more from

That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.

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(841): That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead. http://tfl.nu/kk8p

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(509): View more from Washington

Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.

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(509): Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner. http://tfl.nu/7ypr

Replies (6) Good night (607) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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(+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7

Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (327)

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