I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea