Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.

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  (315): evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/zjs6
  Replies (31) Good night (903) Bad night (1530)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,

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  (203): these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them, http://tfl.nu/bifo
  Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (3518)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.

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  (307): The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story (307): The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant. http://tfl.nu/nooi
  Replies (16) Good night (6139) Bad night (1533)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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  (702): Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm http://tfl.nu/d1by
  Replies (1) Good night (2162) Bad night (766)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2482) Bad night (764)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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  (603): U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite." http://tfl.nu/bn94
  Replies (6) Good night (3835) Bad night (843)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"

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  (541): It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday" http://tfl.nu/cbpt
  Replies (4) Good night (2420) Bad night (822)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne

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  (904): Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne http://tfl.nu/4m6j
  Replies (5) Good night (1342) Bad night (761)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.

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  (415): I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history. http://tfl.nu/x6ei
  Replies (13) Good night (854) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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  (510): I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant... http://tfl.nu/doz4
  Replies (17) Good night (663) Bad night (1882)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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  (812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  How did you get him out of the shower last time?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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  (727): How did you get him out of the shower last time? (1-727): Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed. http://tfl.nu/m3jy
  Replies (0) Good night (886) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

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  (804): He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/lrjc
  Replies (1) Good night (1184) Bad night (303)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.

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  (785): Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit. http://tfl.nu/mx9p
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (547)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?

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  (217): Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth? http://tfl.nu/2a59
  Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (122)

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