OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
