dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
