I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
