dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
