Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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