Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
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YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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