Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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