forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
