hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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