someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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