last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
