Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize