"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
