I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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