I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
