I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
