Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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