If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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