Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i love accidental penises.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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