Screwed.edu
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
