wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
