Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
