Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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