It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
