goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
