He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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