Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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