Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
