Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
