Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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