i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
