Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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