just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
