remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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