oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
