yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
