he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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